I'm wanting more food, but feeling a little soul hunger too. Not that I haven't been gratified by all the people I've dealt with today, but I've dealt with quite a few more than is my custom. Two churches and an OA meeting. A kind of an accidental agenda when, after a conversation with my pastor that included thoughts on ecumenism I learn of an ecumenical Thanksgiving service my church isn't participating in, maybe not aware of. Way above my pay grade, as someone who is back in church pretty much only because being fat will kill me if I continue being fat. But I made the suggestion that folks picking up from the food pantry be made aware of that service as well as our own.
I've a few long-standing poetic tropes that guide my political thought. One is the ship of state, with rudder, sails, and keel. That metaphor extends to one's confession, in the Epistle of James sense, and the distinction I make between guiding confession and propulsive belief. Anyhow, it's been there for several false starts of poetry affirming the political middle -- exemplified in professional bureaucrats (permanent undersecretaries among the British, e.g.), judiciary (ideally), and the Senate (in its tea saucer capacity). The other trope I dwell on is side door vs back door. The client entrance vs the employee entrance, for those not entering the front door. Little validation is found in being a client. Much in being a worker. I quit being a Republican for various reasons, many related to the 2000 recount. But I can't bring myself to be a Democrat, and that side door is the main reason. That side door is very important. Unfortunately, I keep knocking on that side door, an Step 6 issue with me. But there is a front door and a back door, I believe for each of us. And in the context of Christianity, I'm still moved by a sermon heard 20+ years ago from a Presbyterian Synod president, which took the theological term 'justification' away from it's Calvinistic forensic context to a more Tillichian 'ultimate concern' context, or a Maslowian needs context. I believe and confess that the third (perhaps second) tier of Maslow's pyramid is validation. I believe that in most instances the meaning of 'justification' is best understood in the Bible by substituting 'validation.' And I believe and pray and aspire to all whom I greet at the side door, that I might facilitate their welcome at somebody's back or front door, if not my own, any which are open in love. Again many false starts making a poem of all that.
Back to my hunger -- I often hunger to go back and do things differently than I've done. Today as usual, I talked too much in different contexts -- and today had a whole lot more contexts than is my custom. I wonder if I'm justified in singing badly with enthusiasm. I do know for a fact that when I seek to instruct others, I'm on shaky ground. Witness that last paragraph. And I know that leading an OA meeting, as I did today, and even just participating, I'm moved too often to speak, and too much of that is cross talk (responding to what others have said). Another attribute to lay on the Step 6 altar. I was impressed by how I spoke fairly easily of God in this meeting, while I've been struggling until now to get to steps 2 and 3. I think I've gotten back to the God I know -- the God incarnate in a corrupt but living and thriving Body of Christ -- faith communities assembled for worship and discipleship. I can do theology alone -- badly I expect, but well enough if that theology points me away from alone, even though my nature draws me into alone.
That all said, I can speak of food now. Of scrambled (two) eggs this morning with some steamed broccoli and cauliflower and mexican cheese blend. This was suggested by my OA mentor this morning as an alternative to the after sunday school snack spread at the church I've decided to attend 2x/mo. IT was all sweets there, and plenty of them. I had a half of a half of a bagel thin, without the choice of 3 flavored cream cheeses to spread on it. My mentor wants me to avoid sugar and sweet snacks and breakfast made that possible. I ruined the soup -- and such delicious stock it was -- trying to get toward goulash. I think I misused turmeric again. Maybe too much paprika or too much shelf time for the paprika or the yellow onions (4 med chopped and sweat/caramelized) introduced a bitter bite. Also in the soup was diced turnip (quarter inch cubes) and kale and beef cubes. I tried to stir in some butternut puree from the bottom part of the one I used the neck of recently. Still a metallic undertaste -- rather nasty. I had 3 bowls anyhow -- at 1PM, 4 PM and 7PM. Donna had gone to the store to get something -- she couldn't stomach the awful soup. I ended up eating a roasted thigh quarter with some Naan bread I bought today (along with MTR Veggie curry and some rice dishes). That was about 9 and it left me wanting more. Bad soup, I could do just the bowl. Good soup, I've been know to eat 6-8 bowls the day I make it. I had enough left to fill a quart (or so --- not sure of exact measure) casserole for another day.
Tomorrow, I can do a rice dish for breakfast. One has beans, the other not. I know that my mentor will insist on protein early -- with each meal in fact, and the beanless one is best a side, and the beanny one best a meal, So, that's a light breakfast. I should do the antique mall tomorrow, but not sure other obligations will permit that. Either way, it's time to pack a frozen smoothie. I think cold cuts are available for a sandwich. Dinner I'll leave to Donna. I can do a late snack with steamed cruciferous or sweet potato, depending on what best compliments what Donna does for dinner. BTW, the bike is still on the car rack and if I go to Gordonsville, I can find a nice ride thereabouts. There's a ride I've been wanting to do around the Klockner factory -- a side road that seems from a map to lead to interesting places.
No comments:
Post a Comment